Damn, Body's legs are like two giant redwood tree trunks. That's a Shaqueefa shook nightie

When we got to the park that the Contest was at, this was just part of the line

Lance Conklin from Innes and Clements from everywhere

Skate moms think little Cody Davis is just so damn cute. That's a cute kickflip indy. I think you can spot every single logo in the entire sketchy skateboard industry in this photo

Collin Hale nollie back heeled the 10 set in his run. It looked a lot better than this crappy photo. Someone take this camera away from me and give it to someone who cares

That's Taylor Smith. I was going to photoshop a pool stick in his hand, but I'm too lazy so you'll just have to use your imagination

Sunburn victims

Skate moms watching Cody Davis

Just met the guy from Low Card and forgot his name before he even finished telling it to me

Marius Syvanen was sporting the Santa Cruz PJ's all day. Next time I'm really tired, I'm just going to wear these all day so I can take naps right on the spot, like right now

Louie Lopez and Donovan Piscopo. If I had kids and they didn't rip as hard as these two, I'd ground them for life

This is Curren Caples. I guess he wouldn't be grounded either. Not a bad kid

That's Matt Price. You can find out what he's shooting on the Captain Corporate Coverage Patrol

Collin Hale chopped the dreads. They probably made a nice bird's nest

I think I might have seen more of the port-o-let crapper than I did of the Contest today

Things were not boring because Clyde Singleton was on the mic. Thanks for the entertainment

That's Steve Stratton from Volcom. RIP Shane Cross

Nick Matlin is claiming that Louie Lopez is the only little kid he likes. Nick, don't corrupt him with those bad things in your hands

Justin Brock and David Clark are not going to be on a coffee high because those are not beers. UPDATE: Oops, Fruedian Slip. I meant those are not coffees

It's about time for a foot fetish

So we left the Contest and went to some town called Goodyear. They have a "skate park" with more tannies than the gnarliest gay bars. This was just one of many ripping bowl sessions going down. Every time my board shot out and went into one of the 3,000 foot deep bowls, I was considering just leaving it behind

Man, why don't they get more quarterpipes? Fill this thing with water and it will be worth getting into. Sorry, I'm in hater mode. I just hurt my knee in this stupid park and I'm now stuck in the parking lot while everyone is still in there skating

Finally, more tranny. Rad. Where's my buttboard at? Fill this one with beer, please

Lucky they put more tranny behind the tranny next to the other tranny where that one tranny part is

This part was actually pretty fun. Baby trannies that are going to grow up and be just like their daddy trannies everywhere

I call this masterpiece of artwork "Misery in the Skate Park Parking Lot"

So I'm sitting in the car now doing nothing except taking stupid photos. Nice headgear, kid

Despite what this sign says, the park does not rule, it sucks, but that's just my opinion. If yours differs, take your leopard print pads and start your own website

Body took the chill cam and took a photo of this kid bonlessing into the bowl. His name is Ryan and he pushes mongo. At least he's making full use of the overabundant tranny

This dude has his girlfriend as a filmer. He's taking full advantage of the amazing tranny, too

Who's that dude geeking out in the parking lot making fun of leopard print pads? I bet he can't even drop in

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